In 4 days I will have the opportunity to photograph a woman that is now CANCER FREE. This story really inspired me and hit close to home. 

I want to be able to share it with the world and what better way than to share it here. 

Let’s start here: 
My grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2000. (My mother’s mother) She went through the process of chemotherapy and had a mastectomy. Both breast were removed and we thought the Doctor removed all the cancer… Unfortunately that wasn’t the case, the cancer spread and my grandmother passed away in 2001. It was the worst thing to watch and experience. Still till this day my mom struggles with the passing of my grandma. 

Fast forward. I received a call last month from a woman named Adrian. We jumped on the phone and I had asked how can I help her. (She sounded sick, so I thought maybe it was bad timing, even thought she was calling me.) We continued to chat and she explained she had NO IDEA of what she wanted but she knew she wanted photos of her. She couldn’t really identify what she wanted but knew I can help.

I didn’t really understand, she wasn’t clear. I asked if she was okay, she expressed she received bad news that she wanted to call back when her soul is quieted. 

Honestly I didn’t know what was going on, I had this woman crying saying that she wanted me to take pictures. I couldn’t walk away from the call without trying to reach out and find out if I really could help. So, I sent a text message expressing I wanted to be there for her and I would do whatever it takes to get her in front of my camera. 

Come to find out, she is undergoing her 3rd Mastectomy.. “It’s very important to have something to document/memorialize me as I am today.” 

Cancer Free Now- ., I am honored to be able to tell this women’s story. Not only am I going to share it with all of you. I want to Dedicate Project #fuckCancer to my grandmother and Adrian. 

If you know someone who is undergoing treatment or has gone through it, lets connect.

I have attached Adrians picture after 50 to the Left ,and 1st mastectomy to the right. 

Adrian also wrote her story and I would love to share. 

I will be posting her story as it continues.

Her Story:

My journey to here (boudoir) began long before the diagnosis of cancer.  It started many years ago as a young girl.  I didn’t see myself as “overly beautiful”, per se, but was always pretty sure of myself and was good with how I looked.  That said, like most of us there was at least one “something” of my body that, if left up to me, would look differently; however, for reasons unknown, at a very young age, I decided to do the flip and to always find at least one good thing and focus on that.  For me, it was my skin.  
Like chocolate, mine is dark, but with a hint of red, that in my opinion is beautiful.  So, each day, be it morning or night, whenever I unveiled, I’d stand before a mirror and appreciate me.  Not in a way that’s vain, but as a “thank you God for making ME” sort of way. Anyway, because I liked what I saw and because I’d always had a fascination with the human body, I’d always wanted a nude portrait of myself, but never took the time or even had the courage to have one done.  So, when in November 2013, when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, it was no wonder that one of my first thoughts was to be photographed, focusing on my breasts, but because everything goes so fast with that diagnosis, time ran, my health became my focus and a professional session was never done.
Back tracking just a bit, when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I was 45 years young and weighed around 125lbs (stick with me and that will make sense).  Up until the time I met my plastic surgeon, reconstruction hadn’t entered my mind.  Removing the cancer by way of mastectomy was an automatic assumption for me that I was good with.  I’d go in have both breasts removed, go through the necessary treatment and move on with my life, but at the initial consultation my sister asked the doctor about reconstruction. It was then and only that the thought ever cross my mind, but only briefly because after the doctor explained all of my options, I simply was not interested and as such declined.  
Later though, after that appointment, I had to see a social worker (insurance requirement to ensure you not only have all the necessary information as it relates to the diagnosis, but to help you along with questions related to your mental and emotional well being).  During that appointment  reconstruction came up again.  Again, I declined, but before the appointment was over I’d changed my mind.  My thinking at that time was that I may one day remarry and wanted to ensure my “future” husband would have a “normal” bedroom experience. So after determining that I did not carry the gene for breast cancer, I opted to only remove one breast.  Now, because my breasts were small, a mini implant was placed on the side with the natural breast and a tissue expander put in on the left to later fit a permanent implant where my breast had been removed.  
After some time, rippling began on the left (mastectomy side), which was not uncommon, but mine was to the point that it bothered me.  That, coupled with pain from scar tissue building up, I had the implant exchanged for a new one.  Well, after some time had passed, the same thing happened again and after so many tries, I decided to have the implant removed as well as ask to have the right breast removed.  By then though, I’d changed jobs and decided to change to a facility closer to where I worked, which meant a new physician.  After meeting with that physician, I’d changed my mind again because he assured me I was a good candidate for fat injections which should eliminate the problem.  By now though, I was far from 125lbs and the natural breast was much larger than the implant, so along with fat injections (less than 2 ounces), the mini implant on the right would be removed and the right breast reduced in sized.  About a month before the surgery, as I was going through my usual morning routine, I noticed the natural breast did not feel the same.  I took a closer look and noticed drooping and deflated looking.  I could literally fold it, so, as soon as the doctors office opened, I called the doctor.  He explained that the implant had most likely deflated, but there was nothing to worry about since it had been filled with saline. I was going to have the surgery to remove the implant anyway, so I could wait.  Well, in July 2018, I had the surgery.  To my surprise, I received a call from the surgeon stating he could not find the implant (WHAT!?!?!).  
He asked if I was sure that I’d had an implant on the right side.  He said that maybe I was “confused” since I’d had so many surgeries.  I was appalled to put it nicely.  Who would be confused about whether or not they had an implant!  Anyway, I demanded he do something to find it.  He ordered an ultrasound that I later found out he did not know how to read.  I was done (meaning livid).  So done, in fact that you could have stuck a fork in me, sliced me and served me on a platter.  
When I got home (my parents had taken me to see him). I got into my car and drove myself back to the original surgeon.  It had only been a few days since my surgery, so I was NOT doing well when I walked in to the doctors office. I was emotionally drained and physically weak.  They took one look at me and rushed me into a an exam room to lie down before speaking with the doctor.  I explained everything that had transpired.  She, the original plastic surgeon was able to open my records and review everything that had happened since I’d last seen her. Fortunately, she was able to read the ultrasound and detect where the implant was.  Because it was so small, when it deflated,  it dropped down to the bottom portion of my breast cavity and shriveled up and scar tissue beginning to form around it.  She assured me that I would be fine, but for peace of mind would do a tiny incision and remove it, but she had to wait until I healed from the recent surgery, whereas to not loose my nipple.
Unfortunately, that was not the end.  A couple of weeks later, I some kind of way bumped my left breast (mastectomy side) and felt a knot.  I went back to the doctor again, because as you can image, the last thing a cancer survivor wants to feel is a lump.  I saw the doctor again and was told that the fat that had been previously injected had become necrotic.  The tissues had died and the only remedy was to remove dead tissue and put in a new implant.  My answer was an emphatic no!  I wanted them out.  Implants.  Dead tissue.  Natural breast.  Everything out and the other breast off.  So, now here we are.  I’m scheduled for the last of the last surgeries in just over a week, but it was during my preparing for this surgery that I realized I’d never taken my pictures.  I’d never taken pictures pre breast cancer nor after.  I’m soon to be 51 and had not documented my life by way of photos so I searched the internet for a photographer specializing in boudoir that was in my area and I believe, through grace was led to you.  
So no matter the shape of my body.  The amount of weight that I’ve since gained and the asymmetry of my breasts, I am ready.  I am confident and want nothing more than to capture what I call a different kind of beauty and have me digitally immortalized in print in honor of the woman that I am today. – Adrian

High School Portraits

High school portraits of all ages. Take a look at last week photo session. Freshman!!
I had the opportunity to photograph this handsome young man, 15 year old Brandon Khaleel Guzman. Such a talent at his age. Mom, very proud of him making MVP of the year and 1 of 3 freshman’s making varsity. Currently Holds a 3.5 GPA and is working towards becoming pro. What a pleasure working with this kid. Looking forward to seeing this talent grow into a pro football player. Be on the look out for Brandon.

So these past few weeks have been extremely tough for me. As many of you know I have lost 2 of my uncles within a 48 hour period (My father’s brother & mother’s brother.) It has been a roller coaster of emotions. Most of the day I feel depressed and want to cry. I have gone through all our photo albums and checked out social media for any images I don’t have. Family members have sent me pictures through text or posting them on online. Which is the 1st thing we do when loosing someone, go straight to the photos.